Last Entry

I have decided to close this blog down, i will keep up with the other blog on here. thank you to all my loyal readers and commenters!

day 8

yeah i've been having my problems, had a med change again this week, not having to much fun with it. i feel shitty and the doc wanted to put me back in the hospital again. because i was cutting alot. but i'd stopped. i'm glad that i wasn't put in the hospital, my dad was going to make the call if needed. i thought he was going to do that tonight. with how angry we were both getting.

day 2

starting over again. i hate stress. i'm going to lose my mind! ok not really. i went into my disassociation mode and next thing i know is that i'm bleeding. *sigh* it feels like i'll never make it.

day 31

talked to my shrink today. he cut my zyprexa in half. now taking 7.5 mg of it. he said my passing out problem could be because of my meds. but the other day on the phone he said it could not be my meds because he knows about  these things. i looked up the side effects of zyprexa. fainting and dizziness were part of the severe side effects. oh and suicidal thoughts were also part of it. and i was having all 3 problems.

i have been isolating myself majorly. i haven't really been wanting to hang out with anyone so i've been forcing myself to talk to people. a little bit at least. 

i am staring at the moon right now. i can see it from my room. it looks so beautiful and makes me feel so peaceful. 

i'm gonna go now.

day 28

i know it's been awhile since i've written in here. i've been busy with school. i'm doing fairly good with school. 

 i ended up in the hospital this week. i keep passing out, and i don't get any warning signs of it. i just collapse. well, the other night my whole left side went numb, that's why i went to the ER. going down stairs wasn't so much fun to get to the car. i was there for several hours, they concluded i have fainting spells. so my question is why did it start when i started taking the zyprexa. 

i see my normal doc today about it. me, shane, and my parents agree that fainting spells isn't a good answer from the ER. 

i missed 2 classes this week. hopefully i will not miss anymore. because i only have one day left i can miss. 

i hate living in an apartment, i can't decorate it how i want to. 

anyways i'm tired, i'm going back to bed.